If you are divorcing or sorting out custody in Benzie, Grand Traverse, Leelanau or Manistee County, there are three different roads to mediation, and they are run by three different kinds of people. One goes through the Friend of the Court. One goes through a nonprofit community mediation center. The third is a private mediator you choose and pay. They are not interchangeable, and picking the wrong one for your situation can cost you time.
This article lays out what each option covers, who runs it, roughly what it costs, and which kinds of cases tend to fit each one. It is written by a private mediator, so read the comparison with that in mind. The free and low-cost programs described here are good programs, and for some families they are the right answer.
Which Court Handles Your Case
Divorce and custody cases are filed in the family division of the circuit court for the county where you file. In this part of the state, two circuits cover the four counties in the title:
- 19th Circuit Court: Benzie and Manistee counties
- 13th Circuit Court: Grand Traverse, Antrim and Leelanau counties
Each circuit has its own Friend of the Court office. The 13th Circuit's office is in Traverse City. The 19th Circuit's serves both Benzie and Manistee. Which circuit you are in decides which Friend of the Court office handles your case and which local procedures apply, so it is worth knowing before you start comparing mediation options.
Option One: Friend of the Court Mediation
The Friend of the Court is an office of the circuit court. Most people know it as the office that handles child support, but it also helps parents resolve disputes about custody and parenting time. Depending on the county, that help may come from Friend of the Court staff who also work as mediators, or the office may refer the case to the local community mediation center described below.
Two points about this option are easy to miss.
First, its focus is the children. Friend of the Court mediation is built around custody and parenting time. If your disagreement is about the house, a business, retirement accounts or spousal support, those issues generally need another forum.
Second, it runs under different rules from private mediation. Michigan Court Rule 3.216, which governs domestic relations mediation, states that Friend of the Court domestic relations mediation is not governed by that rule. The two are separate processes with separate procedures, and the people mediating are working within the court's own system.
If the only open question in your case is a parenting schedule and both of you are willing to talk, starting with your Friend of the Court office is sensible. Ask the office directly how mediation works in your county, whether there is a fee, and how long the wait is.
Option Two: The Community Mediation Centers and MI-Resolve
Michigan funds a network of nonprofit mediation centers through the Supreme Court's Community Dispute Resolution Program. They provide low-cost and free mediation, mostly with volunteer mediators trained to state standards.
Which center serves you depends on your county:
| County | Community mediation center |
|---|---|
| Benzie, Grand Traverse, Leelanau | Conflict Resolution Services, 3143 Logan Valley Road, Traverse City (also serves Antrim, Missaukee and Wexford). crsmediationtc.org |
| Manistee | Mediation & Restorative Services, Muskegon (also serves Mason, Muskegon and Oceana). mediatewestmichigan.com |
The Manistee line surprises people. Benzie and Manistee share a circuit court, but they are served by different mediation centers, and Manistee's is in Muskegon.
Conflict Resolution Services was formed in 1990 and handles a wide range of disputes, including family matters referred by the Friend of the Court. Like the other centers, it also runs MI-Resolve, the state's free online dispute resolution platform. The family version, MI-Resolve Family, was launched by the Michigan Supreme Court for parenting time and other domestic relations matters. Parents can use it to build a new parenting time agreement, revise a current plan, or set up make-up time for visits that were missed, with a trained mediator helping along the way. It runs on a phone, tablet or computer at any hour, which matters when two parents work different shifts or live hours apart.
For a parenting-time disagreement between two people who mostly get along, MI-Resolve Family and the community centers are worth trying first. They cost little or nothing, and they are designed for exactly that kind of problem.
Option Three: Private Mediation Under MCR 3.216
Private domestic relations mediation in Michigan is governed by Michigan Court Rule 3.216. The rule is worth understanding in outline because it answers most of the questions people ask about private mediation.
How a Case Gets to Mediation
The court can send a domestic relations case to mediation when both parties agree in writing, when one party files a motion, or on the court's own initiative. You do not need a court order to hire a mediator, though. Many couples start mediation before anything is filed, or alongside a case that is already open.
Who Picks the Mediator
You do, if you can agree. The rule lets the parties stipulate to any mediator they choose. If they cannot agree, the court's ADR clerk assigns a mediator from the court's approved roster on a rotating basis. The rule also says the court may not recommend, direct or influence your choice unless all parties ask it to.
Who Can Mediate
Mediators on a court roster must have a legal or mental health background and complete training approved by the State Court Administrator, then observe mediations and conduct one under supervision. They must also keep up with advanced training. John holds the State Court Administrative Office's 48-hour Domestic Mediator certification and its 40-hour Civil Mediator certification, and he has practiced family law since 1987.
Safety Screening
The rule requires mediators to ask whether either party has a history of a coercive or violent relationship, and to keep screening for safety concerns throughout the mediation, using protocols the state provides. Mediation is not always appropriate where there has been abuse. Where it can proceed, it may be done with the parties in separate rooms or on separate video connections.
Cost
Under the rule, the parties generally split the mediator's fee equally, though a court can allocate it differently based on each person's finances. A private mediator costs more than a free program. The comparison that matters is with the cost of continuing to litigate, which usually means two attorneys preparing for hearings and trial.
When an Agreement Becomes Binding
A mediated agreement is binding when it is reduced to a signed writing or when the parties acknowledge it on an audio or video recording. That second option matters for remote mediation. Each party's attorney should review the agreement before it is finalized, and it then goes to the court to become part of the judgment.
Attendance
The rule says the parties attend in person unless the mediator excuses them. In practice that is what allows video mediation, and it is how John can work with families anywhere in Michigan.
Side by Side
| Friend of the Court | Community center or MI-Resolve | Private mediator | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Main focus | Custody and parenting time | Parenting time and many other disputes | Every issue in the divorce, together |
| Cost | Ask your office | Free or low cost | Mediator's fee, usually split |
| Mediator | Court staff or referral | Trained volunteers | Chosen by you |
| Scheduling | On the office's calendar | On the center's calendar; MI-Resolve any time | Arranged around you, including evenings |
| Remote | Ask your office | Yes, including MI-Resolve online | Yes, by video |
When a Private Mediator Makes Sense
The free programs fit a narrow parenting-time question well. A private mediator tends to make sense when the case has more moving parts than that. Some examples:
- Property and money are part of the dispute. The house, a seasonal cottage, retirement accounts, debts and support usually need to be resolved together, because each piece trades against the others.
- There is a business. A family farm, orchard, marina, construction company or rental business needs a valuation and a workable buyout, and the parenting plan may have to fit around a seasonal work schedule.
- One spouse has moved away. When one parent now lives downstate or out of state, a private mediator can run the whole process by video and build a long-distance parenting plan. If the other state is Arizona, see our article on families split between Arizona and Michigan.
- You want it done sooner. Private mediation is scheduled around the parties, including evenings and weekends, rather than around an office calendar.
- You want a mediator with legal depth. A mediator who has practiced family law can explain how a judge would likely see an issue, which helps both people judge whether a proposal is reasonable.
None of this means a private mediator is always better. A couple with no property to divide and a simple schedule question may not need one. The free consultation exists partly to sort that out.
Getting Ready, Whichever Option You Choose
The single most useful thing you can do is prepare. Before the first session:
- Gather recent statements for every bank, retirement and investment account, plus the last two or three years of tax returns.
- List your debts and the balance on each.
- Write down the parenting schedule you actually want, including holidays and summer, and the reasons behind it.
- Talk with your own attorney about what a judge in your circuit would be likely to do on the issues that matter most to you.
- Think about what the other parent needs, not only what they are asking for. Agreements come from meeting needs, and the stated demand is often not the real one.
About Empowered Mediation
John Laubach runs Empowered Mediation from Frankfort, where his family has lived for four generations. He mediates in person in Benzie, Grand Traverse, Leelanau, Manistee and Wexford counties and by secure video anywhere in Michigan. He is licensed to practice law in Arizona, has practiced family law there since 1987, and has worked Michigan cases on a pro hac vice basis. More about his background is on the About John Laubach page.
This article is general information about mediation options in northwest Michigan, current as of October 2026. It is not legal advice. Court procedures, program names and fees change, so confirm details with your circuit court, Friend of the Court office or mediation center. A mediator is a neutral and does not represent either party; each party should consult their own attorney. John Laubach is licensed to practice law in Arizona and certified as a mediator, not licensed as an attorney, in Michigan.