Some families live in both Arizona and Michigan. Some split the year between them. Some have one parent who took a job in Phoenix while the children stayed in Traverse City. Some are planning that move right now. When a family like that separates, two practical problems show up immediately: which state's court is in charge, and how two people who live a time zone or more apart are supposed to sit down and work things out.
Remote mediation answers the second problem directly. The first takes a little more explanation. This article covers both, along with the parenting-plan details that come up when children will be traveling between the desert and the Great Lakes.
Start With the Question of Which State Decides
Both Arizona and Michigan have adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, usually called the UCCJEA. It exists so that two states do not issue competing custody orders for the same child. The core idea is the child's home state.
Under both states' versions of the law, a child's home state is the state where the child lived with a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the custody case was filed. Temporary absences, such as a summer with grandparents or a winter trip, generally count as time in the home state. The home state has priority to make the first custody decision. A state can also keep that authority for six months after the child leaves, as long as a parent still lives there.
Once a state has made a custody order, it generally keeps the authority to change that order as long as the child or a parent still lives there. So if a Michigan court entered your parenting plan and you have since moved to Arizona, Michigan usually remains the place to modify it while the other parent is still in Michigan.
Why this matters in mediation: the agreement you reach will eventually be filed with a particular court, under that state's rules. Knowing early which court that is tells everyone which law to plan around. Your attorney is the right person to confirm it for your facts.
Where You Can File for Divorce
Divorce itself has separate residency rules. Arizona generally requires that one spouse has lived in the state for 90 days before filing. Michigan generally requires 180 days of residence in the state and 10 days in the county where the case is filed. A couple who have lived in both states may meet the requirement in either, which makes the choice of state a real decision rather than a formality.
The Property Rules Are Different
Arizona is a community property state. Property and debts acquired during the marriage are generally treated as belonging to both spouses, and the court divides community property equitably, which in most cases means close to equally. Separate property, such as something owned before the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance, generally stays with the spouse who owns it.
Michigan is not a community property state. A Michigan court divides the marital estate equitably, meaning fairly, and fair is not always fifty-fifty. Judges weigh a list of factors in deciding what fair looks like in a particular marriage.
For a couple with a house in Scottsdale and a cottage on Crystal Lake, or retirement savings earned partly in each state, those differences can change the numbers. In mediation, the two of you are free to divide property however you both agree is fair. But each of you should know what your attorney thinks a court in the filing state would likely do, because that is the backdrop every proposal gets measured against. John practiced family law in Arizona for decades, including community property and retirement division, and he is certified as a mediator in Michigan, so he can help both people see how an issue looks under each state's approach without advising either side.
Moving a Child Out of State
Both states restrict a parent's ability to move a child far away without agreement or a court's permission. The rules are not identical.
- Arizona. When both parents live in Arizona and share legal decision-making or parenting time, a parent who wants to move the child out of state, or more than 100 miles within Arizona, generally must give the other parent at least 45 days' written notice. The other parent then has 30 days to ask the court to stop the move. The statute is A.R.S. 25-408.
- Michigan. A parent who shares custody generally may not move a child more than 100 miles from where the child lived when the case began, and moving out of state usually needs the other parent's consent or the court's approval. There are exceptions, for example when the other parent agrees or when the parents already lived more than 100 miles apart. The statute is MCL 722.31, often called the 100-mile rule.
A relocation is one of the hardest things for a court to decide, because the move often makes sense for one parent and costs the other a great deal of time with the child. Mediation lets the two parents design the trade-offs themselves: how much summer time makes up for the school year, who pays for flights, how the child stays connected to the parent who is not moving. A judge has to choose one outcome, while parents in mediation can build a compromise that a court could not order.
Building a Parenting Plan Across the Country
Long-distance parenting plans usually go wrong in the details. Two parents can agree in five minutes that the children should spend real time with both of them. The work is in the specifics, and these are the ones to settle for a family split between Arizona and Michigan.
The School Year and the Summer
Children usually attend school where one parent lives, so the other parent's time tends to land in summer and on longer school breaks. Arizona and Michigan school calendars often start and end on different dates, so the plan should be written around the actual calendar of the child's school rather than a generic summer.
Holidays and Breaks
Thanksgiving, winter break and spring break are the realistic windows for a parent who lives across the country. Plans often alternate them by year or split winter break in half. Travel days count, so a five-day Thanksgiving break may only be worth the flight in some years.
Travel
Who books and pays for flights, which airports are used (Phoenix Sky Harbor and Tucson on one end, Traverse City's Cherry Capital Airport, Grand Rapids or Detroit on the other), whether a parent flies with younger children, and at what age a child may fly alone under the airline's unaccompanied-minor rules. Each airline sets its own rules for children traveling alone, so check before writing the plan around them.
Time Zones
Most of Arizona does not observe daylight saving time, and Michigan does. From March to November, Michigan is three hours ahead of Arizona. From November to March, the gap is two hours. A plan that says "video call at 7 p.m." needs to say whose 7 p.m., and it should be set at an hour that works for a child in both seasons.
Staying in Touch
Regular video or phone calls with the distant parent, how often, and who makes sure they happen. Shared access to school portals, medical records and activity schedules matters more when one parent cannot see things firsthand.
When Plans Change
Jobs change and children grow. A good long-distance plan says how the parents will revisit it, and many plans agree to return to mediation before anyone files a motion.
How the Remote Mediation Itself Works
Each person joins from their own location by secure video conference, and each person's attorney can join from their own office. The steps match an in-person mediation. First comes a consultation about whether mediation fits. Then both people gather documents and information, and John reviews them to understand the issues. The sessions themselves follow, and finally a written agreement is prepared for each party's attorney to review before signing and filing.
Where there are safety concerns or high conflict, video has an advantage: the two people never need to be in the same room, or even the same state, and the mediator can talk with each of them separately.
Making the Agreement Binding
Both states recognize agreements reached in mediation, and both allow ways to finalize them that work at a distance.
- Michigan. Under the court rule on domestic relations mediation, MCR 3.216, an agreement is binding when it is reduced to a signed writing or acknowledged by the parties on an audio or video recording.
- Arizona. Rule 69 of the Arizona Rules of Family Law Procedure recognizes an agreement that is in writing and signed, stated on the record before a judge, commissioner or court reporter, or stated in an audio recording made before a mediator. Under Rule 67, an agreement from a private mediation must also include certain acknowledgments, including that it was entered voluntarily after full disclosure and, where there are children, that it is in their best interests.
In either state, the agreement still has to be submitted to the court and approved before it becomes an order. Each person's attorney should handle that step in the state where the case is filed.
Snowbirds and Gray Divorce
Not every two-state family has young children. Couples who spend winters in Arizona and summers in Michigan sometimes separate after a long marriage, and their issues look different: two homes in two states, pensions and retirement accounts, Social Security timing, health insurance before Medicare, and estate plans written when the marriage was intact. These cases are mostly about money and fairness after decades together, and they benefit from a mediator comfortable with both the accounting and the family side. John's undergraduate degree is in public accounting, and as a lawyer he drafted trusts, wills and powers of attorney as well as handling divorces.
Why a Mediator Who Works in Both States
Any good mediator can run a video session. What a two-state family gains from someone who works in both places is fluency. John is licensed to practice law in Arizona, has practiced family law there since 1987, and has tried cases in the Maricopa, Pinal, Coconino and Gila County Superior Courts. In Michigan he is certified by the State Court Administrative Office as a domestic mediator and a civil mediator, has worked Michigan cases on a pro hac vice basis, and lives in Frankfort, in Benzie County. He has worked within both states' court systems.
He is still a neutral. He will not advise either of you on which state to file in or what you should accept. That is your attorney's job. His job is to help you reach an agreement you both understand and can live with, and that a court in the right state will approve.
This article is general information about Arizona and Michigan law and mediation practice as of October 2026. It is not legal advice, and laws, rules and court procedures change. Jurisdiction, residency and relocation questions depend on specific facts, so consult an attorney licensed in the state where your case is or will be filed. A mediator is a neutral and does not represent either party. John Laubach is licensed to practice law in Arizona and certified as a mediator, not licensed as an attorney, in Michigan.